Am I a good mom?
I ask myself this question all the time.
When I try to fall asleep, when Maddie is throwing another tantrum, when I’m at the grocery store, when my girls fail to clean up their toys again…
Am I a good mom?
It’s a hard question.
I don’t like thinking about it because I’m afraid the answer is “No.”
And sometimes, I think that is the answer.
I mean, Maddie and Ella fight–Maddie will scratch Ella and Ella will cry.
And, I’ll admit, I get lazy and let them eat more cookies than is healthy.
Sometimes, I’m tired and let them watch TV for hours and hours even though I promised myself I would never do that.
It’s in these moments I think I’m failing as a mother.
And it’s a terrible, terrible feeling.
And it’s not just that you’re failing them, you’re failing yourself too.
In these dark times, you have to force myself out of negativity.
Close your eyes, take a breath.
Hold onto the good.
Yes, Maddie and Ella fight but, after it all, they are still each other’s best friends.
I’ve always emphasized the importance of family and I see it in every giggle and hug between the two of them.
And it’s true that they sometimes eat more cookies than they should, but they also love broccoli.
I’ve worked to pass on good eating habits to my girls and have taught them that the occasional treat is perfectly fine.
I tell them that they are beautiful and smart.
I give them kisses and hugs.
I tell them I love them.
I love them so much.
No, I’m not even close to perfect. I still am working on getting them to clean up after their crafts and I really do need to cut down on their TV time. But you know what? That’s okay. Life is a work in progress. My children are in progress. They are growing up to be loving, intelligent little girls. And I’m proud of my role in that.
So, am I a good mom?
I hope so. I really do.
Peace, love, and health,